The immortal Diary of Jesse Bennett

The immortal diary so far....
for those of you who havent read it heres a little plot summary

Plot-
This is a collection of diary entries written by a vampire, although she prefers to be viewed as a immortal. Jesse Bennett is a newly turned vampire who's exploring the would of the undead, and realising that she doesn't need to answer to anyone but herself, she's a strong woman who just wanted a normal life only to become a vampire on her birthday, by a vampire who is had being in love with her since he first saw her, can he convince her that she loves him in return even though he turned her, without really giving her a choice? keep reading and you'll find out just how fun Jesse can be....

You can also find this on my blog at [link]

"Most people will write a diary or journal at a young age but i? i decided to write one when i was a child but a different kind of child, a child in the eyes of a vampire. My name is Jesse Bennett."

Chapter 1- The stranger

The idea of eternity can seem like a good idea at the time, but it becomes lonely depressing, unfulfilled once you have seen almost everything, you decide to leave the world as you know it. To rest until the times comes when change happens. So that's what i did i went to sleep.
Some stories can be about love, money, power, life etc, but mine began with a drink of HIS BLOOD.
It all began when i was walking on my way home on a night out with the girls, we had being celebrating my twentieth birthday at a local bar. As i stumbled in my three inch heels down the the alley way leading to my street, i became aware that someone was watching me. Although i wasn't drunk merely tired from a very long day.
My friends had being teasing me that i needed someone in my life, it wasn't that i didn't want anyone to be a lover the problem was i just wasn't interested in the men i knew, none of them had the power to make me fall in love. So yes in a way i was a typical girl, i had dreams of family, security and above all else love.
Id grown up with a loving family and i wanted to have my own, i was happy and close to my brothers and sisters, my parents, my overly protective mother. my father had passed away when i was sixteen, rushing to get home for family night, his car had flew across the road and hit a tree, he died instantly.
So anyway I'm sure you don't want to here the boring parts of my human life, how about the end of it?
Well you don't really get a choice to be honest as this is MY story.
okay so vampires might seem cool and to Be honest we can be at times, well when we aren't fighting each other, killing ourselves or hurting innocents, those types of vampires I'm nothing like, sure i may kill from time to time but only if they are the bad guys. So why me? why did i choose to become a vampire? well I didn't get much choice, it was either that or die. and quiet frankly i just wanted to live.
so where was i? oh yes, i was walking down an alley, the air was cold and silent, so i pulled my coat closer, trying to get warm as i continued my journey home, at this point my feet were killing me so i took my heels off and put them in my over sized Mary Poppins carpet handbag. i could seriously fit my whole wardrobe in that bag, too bad i lost it after that night.
Well back to the story...i became aware as i walked that i was being followed, i could feel chills radiating down my back causing goosebumps to appear on my skin in awareness, well that and i could just hear the sound of feet moving behind me. i was afraid to look over my shoulder so i continued to walk only this time a little faster, suddenly my tiredness had evaporated, replaced by down right fear.
my pace began to quicken, i could feel the air getting colder which only increased my fear, for all i knew who ever was following me could have being my imagination working over time, but something just kept me moving faster down the street towards my house.
there was no one in sight, and no sound as i ran down the street, nothing except the sounding of my beating heart, my feet were hurting but i didn't care i just wanted to get away from the sound of those feet i could still hear behind me, as i went to open the gate to my home, my breathing was deep uneven as i tried to catch my breath, that's when i made the mistake of looking behind me, i met dark eyes of a stranger, oh he was male alright but i can still remember seeing those eyes for the first time, dark brown with red around the pupils making them darker like a black hole, a hole that swallowed me up as the lights went out along the street, and i became enclosed in that very darkness i could feel radiating from him and his ever powering eyes. my heart stopped and that was it, i was gone. the darkness had got me. id fallen into it.

Chapter 2 - The choice?

When i had awoken, the room i was in was dark, it smelled like my grandmothers house, I'd sat up and looked around the room hoping that i was alone, i was only for a second before the door opened and in walked the guy who had obviously brought me to this room, id wondered where i was? who my kidnapper was? and above all else...was i going to survive?
As it turned out the room was small, the walls painted white, there was no furniture well except for a wardrobe and the bed i was on, the window was boarded up and the door...well that was locked. i was a prisoner, and damn it i was mad as hell!
Not exactly the reaction most people who produced but i had already being scared that night and now i was just plain furious.
That changed though because as if sensing my anger, the door opened, i stepped back and braced myself before lunging myself at my captor, he was surprised at first and i managed to knock him to the ground, however he recovered quickly and grabbed me around the ankle and i tried to make my escape, tripping me up. As the adrenaline flowed through me i managed to roll over before he held me to the ground, my breathing was fast and unsteady now.
I stared at this time my chin had risen to show i was gonna fight him no matter what. I realised his Eyes were a dark brown with a rim of red circling the pupils, his features were perfect and sculptured, well except for a scar that ran down his cheek, it looked angry that scar, yet his eyes were watching my face and he was smiling slightly.
"Well you are a wildcat aren't you?," he had a Russian accent, yet his voice remained calm and amused as he continued to watch me, his grip remaining tight on me.
I glared at him trying to hide the immediate pull i felt from him,my heart was still beating loud in my ears, "Let me go!"
"No." his voice was filled with finality. i just stared at him, his head bent close to mine, and inch away from my face. He continued to watch me his smile had vanished and something had entered his eyes, they had darkened more, i hadn't thought anyone's eyes could darken like that, they became more black.
"who are you? what do you want? and why am i here?"i burst out.
"Its quite simple, i want you to become a vampire, and you have no choice in the matter unless you want to die."
" A...A..A vampire? your crazy!" i thrashed under him trying to get free, his hold remained unmoving, holding me easily in place.
"I'll give you an hour to make your decision, when i come back its either vampire or death...take your pick" he released me and stood quickly moving out the room and closing the door with a click.
The sound reminded me of when you turn a light switch off. Finality.


Chapter 3 - The gift?

I hadn't given much thought to how i would die, well at least not quite so serious as before now, sure i had wondered now and then but now...
i realised i was being forced into this decision, no one really wanted to die. my instinct told me to live and i would be lying if i said i wasn't interested in staying alive.
i decided to play alone with the physco's little game, maybe i would live a little longer i wasn't sure. I did realise however that may be he was telling the truth and he could be a vampire although the idea at the time was completely nuts!
Either way i new i was probably going to wind up dead, but i still wanted to live...
I hadn't realised that an hour could pass so quickly, I stood when i heard the door opening, this time i new i wouldn't be able to attack him so i remained where i was watching him as he walked into the room.
"Well have you made your decision? " he closed the door behind him and walked slowly towards me, his eyes remaining on my face. He seemed to do that a lot, just watch me like i was the most fascinating thing to him.
I nodded, deciding it best to try and remain calm as i could even though my heart rate had picked up again.
" I'll rather live and be a vampire..." I'd made my choice, i didn't exactly like it hell i even hated it even, but i wanted to live and to tell the truth i wanted to believe him.
His grin flashed and as he stepped closer to me he opened his mouth and i watched both scared and a little fascinated as his canines lengthened becoming fangs. I stood transfixed, as he drew me towards him,-- look i couldn't help it, i know its sounds cliched but what would you have done?-- he turned my head to the side and bent his mouth close to my neck and whispered in my ear. "Close your eyes Jessica."
His voice was like a drug and my eyes fell closed, heavy, my body relaxed and my heart beat i could still hear yet it beat slowly and steadily, i felt a sharp pain going through my neck as his fangs pieced my throat, and i felt the pull as he drank from me, my breathing began to slow and i could feel myself going fluid in his arms, he held me close and as i reached my last few heart beats i could barely hear his voice encouraging me to drink his blood from his own throat. I drank obediently like a child, as soon as i got the taste of his blood on my mouth i tasted fire, it was addictive i managed to grab his wrist to drink from him before the fire that was in his blood reached inside myself. I fell back but his arms still remained around me as he layed me down on the bed, my body bucked on the bed i hadn't realised that i was in pain, as my muscles contracted as power shot through my system, i could feel my body starting to change, pleasure went through my body along with the pain, i could feel my heart pounding in my chest, it began to slow its pace and came to a sudden halt as i somehow was uplifted into the air, my whole body froze and then i manged to close my eyes and fall back onto the bed.
I manged to speak as i noticed i was going to sleep, "Whats your name?"
" Alexander Vladimir Mihailov" he whispered closed to my ear, i felt him move to sit on the bed beside me holding my hand. " And we Jessica Bennett are going to be together for a long time. "

chapter 4 - Becoming...

As my change to a vampire happened my senses ran a mock, i was like a newborn child, i could feel everything around me, i could hear the mice stomping like elephants , i could hear whispering in the streets, i could smell the scent that arose from Alexanders own blood, it was like a fine dark chocolate utterly sinful. I knew i had to taste it.
I managed to sit up after awhile, i no longer felt the steady beat of my heart, and i realised with a sadness i never would again.
Alexander seemed to be en tune to my mood, he looked at me with the same sadness in his eyes that I'm sure were showing in mine, i hadn't really wanted this but I'd agreed for fear of my life, me changing into a vampire hadn't really saved my life. Becoming a vampire had killed me, the none beating of my heart proved that.
"Why did you want to change me, I'm a no body?" i looked at him as i spoke, my voice was filled with sadness i felt, as i realised that because i had chosen to 'live' and be a vampire i would no longer be able to see the ones i loved. I was now alone.
"You are a somebody to me Jesse, its why i chose you, you radiate life from your inner being, even now you radiate that life when you are a still changing...and i know that you were already alone." he had being looking at me as he spoke but when he reach the last of his words he cast his eyes away from me.
I was alone now but as i looked at him i realised the meaning in his words, yes i was alone, i had no one who was with me in a relationship, no lovers, or anything, and i had always felt alone.
Yet was a i just a little ray of sunshine for him?, i almost laughed at that thought, sorry but i was not that!
"I'm wasn't always alone...i was happy in my old life, i had a good job, a nice home, a great family who i loved and still love but now.." i looked at him my anger had risen " You forced me to become this, all so YOU wouldn't be alone!" I felt my eyes fill with unshed tears of pain.
He looked at me then, and stood suddenly and pulled me off the bed and into his arms all the while stroking my hair, he was trying to comfort me! I was still crying but i was shocked, not by the fact that he had forced me into being a vampire but because he seemed sorry for his actions.
He was murmuring to me in what sounded like Russian, his voice was low and soothing. I could feel his hand moving down my hair to the back of my neck slowly moving down to rub my back gently, i tried to push him away from me still angry yet he just drew me closer. the closer i was against him the more i felt, my anger slowly left me, to replaced with a sadness that was still coming from him, yet i could also feel a peace going over him and an excitement.
"You said that we would be together...just what did you mean?" i had to ask a part of me was screaming at me to just find out. I knew i was on dangerous territory but i was already a vampire how bad could my situation get?
His hands remained holding me, and he didn't cease his stroking of my hair, it seemed like he had being expecting this.
"I have always wanted to have someone who would fill the darkness that surrounds my soul, when i saw you i saw so much light and life, i just had to have you...but i wont force you to become my mate" he pulled back at this and looked at me. "its your choice in becoming mine, for now I'll show you the life of a vampire..."
I nodded, i wasn't exactly thrilled by the idea of being a vampire but i suppose i had to get used to it as for becoming his...well i wasn't so sure, i thought i had hated him but i couldn't stop myself when it came to the sadness in him, and okay ill admit it i found the guy hot to boot and he was interesting.
"i wont become yours, just because you turned me Alexander...i don't trust you and i certainly don't like you for what you have done to me, but i do need you to train me."
I looked at him and i could feel a burning sensation in my throat and stomach...i felt hungry, and as i moved my hand to my throat i could feel that my face had somehow changed, i opened my mouth and i touched my lips, i felt a sharpness...i had fangs! and i was starving...
Alexander just smiled his own fangs showing in the light, and he scared mewith the next words out of his mouth "lets hunt."

chapter 5 - Becoming the huntress

A lot of things used to scare me, as a child it was the Bogey man, as a teen it was always being alone, as an adult, your next bill, But what scared me the most about the hunt, was that i had believed that vampires killed.
as it turned out i was wrong... again. Alexander, took me out the house we were in, i learned that it was just a house that was on the market. Anyway so Alexander, walked me outside, i had to cover my ears, as they hurt from all the noise. He just stopped and looked at me patiently, removing my hands form over my ears.
"you will get used to it, be able to block out all the sounds around you, just try and relax and let your hunger guide you...for now", his voice was gentle. He regarded me now in a different light. it seemed hedidn't like humans, but i had to remember that i wasn't a human anymore but one of his kind, a vampire.
"do all vampire's hate humans like you?" i watched him blankly. He smiled slightly.
" i don't hate humans, i just simply turned you, and don't think that there's any way of running from me in the future as i will find you and bring you back to my side, your mine now." there was a harshness to his voice, gone was the gentle man who had held me in his arms when i had being wracked with emotion, and back was mister scary. i swear at that point his moods were going to give me whiplash. (not that it would have hurt me ) okay that had not being the answer i was looking for, now i was scared because i could see that he wasn't lying to me at this point. His eye's were watching me closely, i managed to keep my face blank and i turned away from him, closing my eyes to block everything out, that i was feeling, although i couldn't block out the hunger that gripped me like a hand around my throat, it was clenching to a sharp pain, that focused my senses. Seeking out till i found what i unknowingly was searching for.
I could hear a steady heart beat in the distance, and my body started to head towards the sound of that beat.
moving through the streets, i barely noticed my surroundings, yet in the back of my mind i could feel Alexander following me slowly.
the very sound of that heart beat began to change as i moved closer to the person who's chest it beat from, i could see through a haze , that it was coming from a man walking along the empty street, his head was cast down as he walked slowly. His hair was dark. his physique was slim, but still appealing, i watched him for a momentbefore looking at Alexander, he nodded that i should follow him, i was nervous, but i did as i was instructed as the hunger kept up burning through my chest and throat.
i watched as the human walked down a street, i thought it was ironic really that vampires fed in dark alleys, at least that part of the myth was true.
As i followed quietly i watched him turn around, and look behind him, but i remained near the shadows, so he wasn't able to see me. i hadn't realised that when we hunted that we became part of the darkness.
I paused for a moment as my hunger built up. and Alexander whispered in my ear.
"go on Jesse you need to feed, follow your instincts."
I moved swiftly, out of no where and grabbed the man, his face registered shock, and fear. But i ignored that and pinned him to the floor, i could feel him struggling but i still held him down firmly, my fangs retracted and i pieced his throat, the blood, flowed into my mouth, i had being expecting a coppery taste, yet it tasted like i was drinking a light fruity drink, i drank eagerly from him, pleasure coursing through me, until Alexander pulled me from the human, he waved his hand across his eyes, and they became unfocused. as i watched i realised that he was wiping the humans memory.
you never forget your first feed. But as time passes you forget a lot of people. Alexander led me away from the scene and the man just laythere, his throat with two marks that were healing, i turned away and went with Alexander.
"you only need a few mouth fills from now on, you almost killed that man, you were lucky i was with you. next time, it will be a lot simpler"
i could barely hear him as my thoughts were still on the man i had just fed from, i realised i had almost killed him, i had felt every beat of his heart as i had drank form him...it had started to slow down, until Alexander had pulled me off him. i had to learn to control my hunger. i just had to learn everything.
As each day and night would pass, i would go out hunting, and repeat what i did, each time though i managed to pull back before i felt the heart slow, Alexander would wipe the memory of the humans i fed from. yet i would still loose myself in the taste of the blood.
Alexander seemed to delight in calling my the huntress, as he kept on repeating that i found my victims so quickly, it was remarkable for even a vampire as old as he.
To me the hunt was easy, but the rest...well i was finding it hard.

Chapter 6 - Home is where the vampire is...
What i found hard to do as a vampire was, control my temper...Alexander would seem to delight in continuously tormenting me through out my vampire education, he would poke at the little mistakes i would make when using my new found powers, oh i learned i had many, i could read the minds of those around me, i could even feel the emotions as well as smell them from people who i came into contact with.
i could also change my whole being, yet i couldn't do it very well, the first time i tried, all i did was well nothing...and knowing Alexander as i was beginning to know, he would just smile and tell me to try again, but the problem was that every time i tried to concentrate i would focus on him and bam! I'd screw up. i know I'm leaving out gaps but do you honestly want to know the pointless conversations me and Alexander had? seriously they are pointless, all he would talk to me about would be my powers. you get sick after awhile of finding out that every myth you hear about vampires are basically false, everything i mention say sunlight? could we go out in the daylight? yes we could, hence every myth being blown to bits...
yes so vampires could indeed go out into the daytime as i learned, although our powers were weak, yet because i was a newborn vampire, i learned i had to take my time testing my limits in the daytime, as i had to consume more blood.
As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, i stayed with Alexander learning the ways of the vampire.
Sometimes i would see Alexander lapse into silence, although i was now a vampire, i felt like a prisoner most of the time. Alexander wouldn't allow me to leave the house we had set up in. So i decided to sneak out like some rebellious teenager, i would climb out the window at night and leap to the ground. i would go for a walk for hours, well at least until sunrise, when i would sneak back in.
i felt like a pretty useless vampire most of the time, as all my powers i sucked at, i could barely focus on one thing with out being distracted by Alexander at some point, even if i just heard him breath it...distracted me, his voice when he spoke tended to i don't know grate on my nerves most of the time, he wound me up so much half the time i just wanted to slap him, or rip out his throat...

Chapter 7- Restless

As time past and i continued to sneak out of the house, although I began to feel like I was being watched, the feeling would continue to haunt me even when I returned back to the house.
I had discovered that Alexander enjoyed painting, he would sit for hours painting on end, the pictures would be of places, all of them set at night. It was as though he would be showing the constant night that surrounded us. I wanted to see some sun, just a little in his portraits when I would question him, he would just smile at me, this secret smile.
"I already have the sun, I cannot even paint its beauty for it is impossible to capture it on cavanas", his voice would be amused and a little sad.
Yes i longed to hit him, I was still angry at him, but then i would see the sadness and i wished it would go a way.
I wanted him to tell me about his life, as i gazed into the painting's, one in particular showed moutains covered in snow yet furst down them, a lake can be seen flowing beautifully, the waves looked gentle, yet appeared to be flowing quite rapidly.
I would just gaze at his paintings for hours, i hardly noticed when time passed, i was in my own mind. I could see myself by the lake, listening to the water running, the air would be cool and damp, and would heat up when the sun was high in the sky, i could imagine smelling the water, that freshness along with the grass brushing against my legs.
I never realised that whenever i did this Alexander would be watching me, his eyes soft on my face.
Sometimes i would catch him staring at me, and yet his still kept that same patient expression, his dark eyes would scan every inch of me from time to time.
I was often quite with Alexander only ever speaking to him when i wanted to know something, most of the time i would write in here, it seemed easyier to face than living my life, if a lif eis what you would call it.
My hunger would be the only thing that took me outside, that and my endless walks to clear my mind.
I would walk for hours, passing people in the streets, seeing them all living, i would feel so distant from it all that i would just wish to fit bakc in with it. I knew this could never happen because to a vampire morals were just little happy meals with legs.
I wanted to at least get some interaction, i admit that i felt so content being in Alexander's company that i could live with him for well awhile, although i still wanted to have soem fun, to feel alive.
I knew that Alexander wanted me to feel comfortable with what i was, i just dont think he understood that other than him he was the only vampire i knew. For all i knew there might be different ways for a vampire to live. i was also lonely.
And i missed my friends and family, i dont want to sound like a wining child, but well i needed to have friends. Someone other than Alexander to talk to at least.

It was during one of my staring painting sessions that i decided to find some more of my kind, i felt restless. Alexander had disappeared into his study the for the night, i used the front door this time, taking the key with me. I didnt fancy climbing through the window again. I wasn't some teenager after all i rationalised, but a grown woman. Who just happened to be a newborn vampire!
I didn't take my usual walk around the area, instead i headed towards the town, i chose not follow the crowds but instead opted to follow my instincts as they were quite reliable. Well at least when i hunted.
I walked down a long street, i knew the area as it was close to where i Alexander had taken me from. I could smell the pungentcy of stale beer from the local bars, along with a faint whiff of sickness. Sometimes i relaly hated my vamp abilities.
I slowed as i reach an alleyway, i could hear the sound of music, and detect a faint whiff of fresh blood, i followed both and i found myself nearing where both was coming from. I realised that the there was an old Bar.
I at first thought it was some goth place, till i saw a perfectly tailored couple walking inside, both had a red glow around the ises, although this was unobserved usually by humans. It was how a vampire reconised another.
I moved to the door, the bouncer was stood with his arms folded, he watched me approach and held out his hand, i could smell that he was human. So i stopped adn waited for him to speak first, when he didn't i merely smiled and cocked my head at him. " Is there something wrong with me going in there?"
He looked like a normal bouncer, he was bald his face drawn, his eyes a clear blue. He was certainly built.
His voice was deep, " This is a private club, strict members only policy. And i sure havent seen you around here before girl"
I nodded at him. " no i dont imagine you would have seen me before, Im Jesse, new around here" i let him see my fangs, he wasn't surprised to see them, he probably thought i was some wannabe vamp.
So i lifted my eyes to his face, and let them flash red. That made him pause, and look at me a little surprised.
"Alright go in, miss Jesse" his voice was warmer. " Im joe, and this is "Midnight's hangout". he stepped back and pushed open the door for me, i walked pasted him.
"thank's joe, im sure ill see you again" inside i was jumping for joy, as i looked around the place, it was old inside and didnt look like a hopping club but somewhere dim, i could feel power radiating around the room, from the other vampires.
I noticed booth's around the room, all dimly lit to give privacy to whatever went off there. I could imagine just what went off there.
I looked at the people in theclub and found a mixture of both human and vampire. For some reason other vampires tended to shy away from me as i tried to approach them.
I guessed being a newbie was not cool. I took a look at the bar and decided on a drink, i was in a bar after all, i moved to take a seat on a very worn out looking stole and waited to be served. I sat and took in my surroundings, wondering why on Earth i was been treated like such an alien.
" Don't take it personally, they just dont trust that a newborn with so much power raditing from them won't snap them in two. " I turned my head at the sound of the voice and found myself staring a extra hot guy that would make the angels weep with envy. He had dark, almost- black hair was brushed off his face.
He had high cheekbones, a straight nose, and a square jawline showing a small amount of stubble. His lips were full and curved in a charming smile, his eyes were bright blue, the ises holding a show of red for a moment, before it faded from his eyes. He looked human in the face.
He was dressed in full black. He wore a button-down silk shirt that was open at the neck, black jacket, and black dress pants. The darkness made his face look paler, but it wasn't unattractive or pasty. He was the embodiment of "tall, dark and handsome".
I couldnt help but stare at him. His smile broadened.
" I imagine this is a little overwelming for you?" His voice was soft and downright seductive. He sent out waves of sexuality.
I found my throat dry, so i took a sip from a glass of white wine that was in front of me.
" you could say that, " I managed with a smile. "Im Jesse." I offered my hand, and his took it in both of his hands holding it. He bowed his head over our hands. His palms were caloused. He appreaered polished and so otherworldly, but to find his hands marded by roughness of labour. Made me blink.
For months i had being alone, well aside from been with Alexander. That made me stop staring at the new hot guy and i looked around, wondering if Alexnader had followed me, of course he wasnt there, and to my surprise i wished he was.
I looked back at the hot guy.
"So you got a name then? And why are the others weary of been near me?"

Chapter 8- Gregory DeWitt

He offered a friendly smile at me, " Gregory Dewitt. And they are weary of you because you have an ancients blood in your system, they are meant to be..."he paused giving me a considering look. I Managed to keep my face from showing my surprise, before he went on.
" Well they aren't that many around and they don't come around these part's, and certainly not to places like this." His voice although amused seemed relieved. Although it appeared as though he was trying to hide it.
His eyes were direct on mine, i had dressed casual for the evening, my hair was in a french pleat, a few wisps of my Red hair had fallen free. I had Chosen to wear black pants and a black halter-neck, my arms wear bare, except for a bracelet of gold. I didn't need to wear make up. My eyes held his, the redness had disappeared from them, so they now they were a deep dark green.
My voice managed to come out confused, " so I suppose because of my blood they are afraid of approaching me because of the one who made me, been near me?"
He nodded with a smile, " Ancients can kill any vampire they choose within moments, if someone speaks out of turn to them." I couldn't help but smile at this. he continued. " They also are extremely protective of any fledgling that they create, most aren't allowed away from their masters. In case some thing happens to them."
"Like what?" i couldn't help but ask. Although i new the answer deep down and i was right.
" They get killed, the pain that a fledgling feels so does the master...for the first hundred years or so that fledgling must remain with the master until, it can be blocked. " He was still giving me that direct look, and his tone held a hint of knowing. As though he knew that i had left Alexanders side to night without him knowing.
I was very aware that everyone in the club was aware of me, and i started to wish that i hadn't have picked tonight to come out now. Although there was also anger. Anger that Alexander hadn't told me. I still resented him in some ways. Mostly because he hadn't told me much about what i was. Now and again i had to pry information from him. It was so bloody frustrating. I knew how to feed, he had taught me that much at least. Yet nothing what so ever about vampire lore, where other vampires were. It was as though he was trying to keep this part of the world from us, both secluded.
" So other than me having so much power, there's also the chance of my "master" popping up and killing anyone who tries anything with me?" He nodded at me, his gaze moved to scan the room before he looks at me again a charming smile on his lips. The look itself jolted a reaction form me.
His eyes had darkened and he was looking me up and down in a slow deliberate way, his smile had turned form charming to desirable in seconds. The jolt that went through me made me very aware of him and his closeness towards me. His gaze lowered returned to my face but then focused on my lips. i knew he was going to kiss me.
My eyes widened as his head lowered to mine, i lifted my face for his kiss, my mind fogging. The next thing i new was that someone had grabbed me around the waist and pulled me against them. Gregory's eyes snapped to look behind me clearly annoyed. I knew who had hold of me. Arms wrapped around my torso holding my arms in place, warm breath was at my throat. I could smell the sandalwood of his throat. My body was highly aware, fire burning in my blood. And anger shimmered between the both of us. Alexander. Who else would grab me like i was his and his alone.
His voice was lethal i knew he had his gaze on Gregory, " How dare you touch her" I felt my insides clench in fear. for him having remembered what Gregory had said about an ancient been able to kill another vampire with a mere will. I could feel that power in him starting to slip free and reach out to Gregory.
He remained where is sat though his gaze unwavering from Alexanders. " It was her choice not yours. "
I looked at Gregory a moment i was still afraid, but i spoke. Ignoring the hold that Alexander had on me and the slight tremor in my voice, i turned my head and looked at Alexander. " It is my choice, so please don't kill him. He meant me no harm"
Alexanders eyes were more intense as he dragged his gaze from Gregory, i could still feel his power threatening to take over on Gregory. He looked at me, i could still feel the anger. He nodded at me, before i felt his power slip back under his control. I knew that everyone around us was watching us in fear. Although it seemed that Gregory had been right though that they all were afraid of a Ancient vampire. I let my own anger take me. But i held it in control, i looked at Gregory. His face was immobile, he was clearly angered as well. Although that anger was not directed at me. It was for Alexander. I did not want to be caught between the two. Gregory looked at me and gave me a faint smile. " Come by any time you want."
Alexanders arms stiffened around me and i nodded to him and offered him a small smile in return. " I'd like that... I guess ill see you around" Alexander released me only for a second because he grabbed me by the wrist and started pulling me from the club. I could see everyone staring at us and my face flooded with embarrassment. When we were outside the Joe the doorman gave me a smile, but he took in Alexanders profile and he went pale and turning his head.
I Looked at Alexander and saw what Joe had seen, Alexanders eyes were dark and Dangerous, the red in them more pronounced, his fangs were showing and his lips were tight. My fear had gone only a moment ago after he had left Gregory Dewitt alone but now it was back, i knew he would not hurt me intentionally. He led me down the alley and out onto the streets, it was still early in the evening so people walked along the streets. A black sedan was parked and he pulled me towards it, opening the door. His voice was filled with anger as he ordered me. "Get in" I complied when he released my wrist, i slipped into the car and pulled the seat belt on just in case he decided to crash us both.

Chapter 9- Love or Hate?
      He got behind the wheel of the car, and drove off quickly, tearing down the streets, heading us back to the house, i rubbed my wrist a faint bruise showing. Although i couldn't die and he had still hurt me. His eyes were on the road. I gripped under my seat, when we turned a sharp corner. I spoke through my teeth. " Can you try not to kill us?"
      His laugh was sharp as a blade. " Oh i don't think its my driving you have to worry about Jessica" His voice was rough, temper on the brink.
      I snapped at him. " Why because i went out ? i met someone who isn'tyou? you had no right to follow me!" i slammed my fist on the dash board my own anger showing in my voice. " if you think you can scare me Alexander you are mistaken." We pulled up outside the house. And he turned in the car, switching the engine off, his own anger showing.
      "You will never go there again, do you understand me?" He snarled at me. "Gregory De Witt only wants one thing from you."
      My anger was rising at his tone, " Oh and you don't?"
      He pulled me over the seat and into his lap, his eyes blazing with anger and something else i wasn't quite sure of. " You know why i turned you. I wont force you to be my Mate. But i wont stand back and let men likeDeWitt take advantage of you. Especially considering what a trusting heart you have."
      I saw in his eyes that he was jealous. " You can kiss whom ever you like" he then said quietly, in a rough voice. His accent more pronounced.
      His breath blew across my face as he held me a mere few inches form him. I could feel my own body been electrified from the intensity of his eyes.
      I could feel my anger dissipating at his words as i remembered what he had said to me. "I have always wanted to have someone who would fill the darkness that surrounds my soul, when i saw you i saw so much light and life, i just had to have you...but i wont force you to become my mate"
      He had asked me to be his Mate, i hadn't really taken it in until now. Sometimes there's a fine line between love and hate, ever since Alexander changed me, i had noticed a softness to him. Yes he had changed me, and i was angry that he would force me to leave my past life behind. To be with him. My gaze moved to his lips and i realised that, although Gregory had wanted to kiss me. I would have pulled away form him, because it wasn't him who i wanted it was Alexander.
      The scar along his face, did not bother me in the slightness, it only made him seem more dangerous. He was protective of me i realised not because of my been a Fledgling but because he wanted me, for me.
      My anger drifted away. And i kept my eyes on his. " Alexander i wouldn'thave kissed him anyway." I said slowly watching his face. His eyes drifted over my face. I knew he was seeing if i was telling the truth and his hold on me relaxed. But only for a moment.
      "That would not have stopped him from kissing you anyway. " I shook my head at this.
      "He wouldn't have gotten the chance to. " i Smiled at this. Because i would have probably ran. i Usually do from strange men who try to kiss me and honestly, i had been about ready to leave.
      Alexander's voice stopped me form making this next comment. Distracting me and bringing me back to the conversation before hand. Us. " When i found you gone tonight, and that you hadn't returned for your usual time, i was fearful that you had gotten yourself hurt. "
      "How did you find me?" i asked. So he knew i had been sneaking out. i guess he didn't see me as a prisoner.
      " I made you, i can find you anywhere. Even if you run from me i can find you." This made me shiver inside. His voice wasn't threatening, and neither were his eyes however intense they were on my face.
      " I wouldn't need to run, i know you would let me leave if it was my choice." I felt a little stupid for even considering that i was his prisoner, he had never intentionally harmed me. Not even when he had turned me. He remained close by my side, teaching me the ropes. He was warm, although he had been cold towards Gregory, he hadn't once let go of me. I remembered that i had actually felt safe in his arms.
      And right now i could tell we were both, Aroused. Yes there is a fine line between love and hate but you know what, sometimes its much more decadent than the darkness of seductions.
      And who was i to complain? For i honestly did want Alexander. I just wasn't so sure about the whole mate plan.
      And truth be told, i hadn't had sex in well lets say a long time.
      Alexander must have picked up on my change in mood, because his arms tightens around me. We were still in the car, and i was on his lap, his dark brown eyes were getting darker by the second, something i never thought possible. His hands slid up my waist brushing down my back in a possessive stroke, i leaned into his touch.
      His other hand moved up into my cheek, i turned my head slightly into his palm. His skin was warm tot he touch. And his eyes wandered down my face, resting on my lips for a moment, before he lowered his head. His face was closer now as his eyes remained on my, i saw something in his eyes, as though he was still waiting for me to reject him.
      I lifted my face to his and offered him my mouth, i could here a low groan emerge from his mouth, before his lips took mine in a deep kiss.
      A soft gasp came form my lips, as he slid his tongue to mesh with mine. oh wow wasn't he a great kisser.
      His hand moved to fist into my hair, pulling our bodies closer to one another.
      His other hand lifted me so i could straddle his hips. My own arms slipped around his neck, and curling at the base of his throat. As we kissed, i felt something shift inside me. A kind of peace i had not known since well never. I wanted to keep kissing Alexander forever.
      My eyes had fallen closed. And i could feel his hands moving down my sides to grasp me by the waist.
      I managed to tear my mouth form his, although his mouth moved swiftly to the pulse at the base of my throat, his lips teasing my skin along with his tongue. This dragging a moan form my throat.
      I gasped, " I think we should take this in side"
      He pulled his mouth from my throat, making me groan softly from the loss of contact.
      He didn't say a word as he manged to lift us both out of the car, my legsinstinctively wrapped around his waist, he got out and slammed the door closed not bothering to lock the car door.
      He carried me into the house, i was vaguely aware that we were headed into his room, he stopped just outside the door and i slipped down his body to stand on my feet, my arms wrapping back around his neck as i kissed him, my lips hungry on his. I scraped my fangs along his bottom lip and nicking his lip. Blood seeped into my mouth and i sucked hard on his lip. This made him grip me close, one hand reaching up to brush the pad of his thumb against my nipple, gently enticing it. And sending a wave of warmth to my centre. My legs started to give out from the the simplest of touches from him.
      He released my breast and he kissed me hard. Sending every thought i had into oblivion.
      Then with our arms wrapped around one another, we staggered into his room and toward the bed, but at its edge he stopped and stepped back a bit. Looking down at me from his slightly greater height, he said, "I've waited too long to rush this."
      I nodded, and managed to smile at him, my hand reaching up to cup his cheek. " Me too,"
      With Sexy smile, he moved his hands to slowly undress me, his fingers skimming my skin as he slipped the alter neck free and tossing it to one side. I was naked beneath completely exposed to him, his eyes darken even more.
      He cupped my breasts in his hands. Strumming his thumbs across my nipples until i mewled in both pleasure and protest, then he replaced his hands with his mouth. Sucking at me, gently at first, but then just a bit harder as i cupped the back of his head to me.
      Then he slowly sank to his knees, kissing a line down the center of my chest. His hands holding my hips as he dipped his tongue into my navel.
      That tug sent a direct signal to the center of me. I couldn't help but moan loudly and sit back on the edge of the bed, as my knees almost gave out weakly from the desire he had awoken within me.
      "Easy Jessica," he said as he worked open my black pants and then slipped his hands beneath to drag them off.
      Alexander paused as though to admire all that he had revealed. My face was a flush with heat, i had only secretly wished for this to happen but i had being too afraid to admit it to even myself.
      Vamp speed was a good thing, i couldn't help but think, as he tossed off his shirt and jeans and returned to me. His hands moved to skim over my thighs lightly, he kneeled before me, keeping his eyes on my face.
      His hands abruptly left my thighs and moved into my hairline, he pulled me forward and kissed me, softly at first then the kiss intensified. His arm wrapped around my waist, my hands moved to trace his abdomen. He was the most Dangerous looking man i had ever met.
      My palms moved to his nipples rubbing them lightly, he shuddered in pleasure and groaned into my mouth. My body shook in response.
      He moved his hands back to my thighs, i still wore my panties, and he trailed a finger lightly over my inner thigh as he continued to kiss me.
      Pleasure went straight to my core, a burn moving through my stomach slowly. His touch caused me to whimper in pleasure.
      His mouth left mine to trail down my throat and over my collarbone, he trailed hot kisses over my body, back over my stomach.
      I fell back against the bed, as he moved lower parting my thighs as he held them apart he kissed my very core.
      I cried out as pleasure hit me time and again, i bucked under his touch until his mouth left me to move to my inner thigh. I felt a sharp stingfollowed by more pleasure so intense from the last that i sored over the edge of fulfilment. I knew he was drinking from me and i didn't care. I'd never felt anything so erotic in my life.
      He stopped after awhile, i wasn't sure how long it had began but i didn'tcare, we had forever.
      He moved and hovered over me, i pushed him onto his side and straddled his waist, kissing him deeply. Our tongues moving to meet and mate.
      I ran my hands over his chest enjoying the feel of him under my hands, i traced a scar at his waist, realising it was a knife mark. I broke the kiss and gazed into his eyes as i moved my hand to encircle his length, stroking him. His breathing would come out in gasps, his hands reached to grab mine stopping me.
      "Enough Jesse, " his voice was rough, his eyes like fire around the irises. He kissed me roughly and rolled until he was above me. He body covering mine.
      I watched the emotions splash across his face as he gazed down at me, he was hesitating as if asking permission. With the slight shift of my hips, i invited him in.
      He moved slowly, restraining himself so as to satisfy me. Conscious of my every need as he slipped his hands up my body to caress my breasts. he leaned forward and took my mouth with a kiss that mimicked the motion of his hips, it was both possessive and it held so much tenderness i could have wept. He Continued to kiss me until i couldn't help but gasp for breath and my heart thundering in my chest.
      I cradled his hips, making him increase the penetration of his thrusts and he quickened his tempo then. Strengthened the force of his thrusts until i had to hold onto his shoulders to keep with him. Nearly panting with the intensity of our lovemaking.
      As his gaze locked with mine, i realized he was striving for something besides physical satisfaction. Something was lacking within him much as it was within herself. And so i raised my lips to his, wanting to give him that. Wanting to take it from him, as well. "Love me, Alexander."
      With one arm braced on the bed to keep his weight off me, he cupped my head with his free hand and whispered, " You have it,you always will Jessica."
      The kiss that followed sent both of us over the edge, but even as we layedthere in the aftermath, damp and sated, I needed more and he gave it. Time and time again we made love until the first lights of a rosy dawn crept into the night sky and the sounds of birds tittering outside reminded them that it was time to rest.
      I was Content to rest my head on his shoulder, warm still continued to flow through me, his arms were wrapped around me, one hand at the base of my back stroking me softly. His head rested on mine. Before i fell asleep i heard him whisper to me, " Ya tebya lyublyn." And with the sounds of the night ending we fell asleep in each others arms.

Chapter 10 - lust or love?
      
      I awoke alone, my head on the pillow, the covers pulled up and covering my waist. I looked to the side of me and placed my hand on the bed, looking around the room a moment. Knowing that i was definitely in Alexanders bed.
      I groaned softly in frustration and buried my face in the pillow. What the hell had i done? I had given myself to Alexander. I should hate him... But icouldn't bring myself to. As sex went i had to admit it was the best i had ever had in my life.
      I rolled over onto my back and stared at the ceiling.
      I wasn't completely sure what i was feeling for Alexander, but i knew that deep down. I wanted him. Some how i felt drawn to him, regardless of what he had made me. I wanted him physically. Seeing him loose control last night had awakened my own passions within me.
      Those words he has spoken to me, still lingered in the back of my mind. And i wanted to know what they meant. Although truth be told i was afraid to find out. Did i really want a repeat performance of last night?
      I sat up knowing that hiding from him in his own bed sure wouldn't help improve my mood.
      Last night in his arms had been perfect. Almost too perfect.
      I slipped from the bed, and pulled the sheet wrapping it around my form. I started slipping on my cloths that were scattered over the room, that'swhen it caught my eye. On the desk a sketch pad lay open. The picture was of me, but it appeared as though i was in a restaurant by myself. My profile was turned away from everything, my eyes sad but deep in thought. I saw what i was wearing, the dress was simple, a jacket was covering my arms. my hands were on the table, holding the Menu, but it appeared that i wasn't reading it.
      I flipped through the sketch pad finding more pictures of myself, all beautifully drawn with a skill that was beyond belief yet the images wereterrifying. He had captured me completely alone on paper, and once more it appeared as though he had drawn my heart. He hadn't been lying whenhe said that he knew i was alone. But Not only was i sad in some pictures but i was wistful in others. I was either by my self or in a group yet i wasdetached from it all. I at first thought that he had deliberately drawn me this way but then, i thought back to my life before meeting Alexander and remembered. That although i had lived my life, i wasn't really part of anyone Else's.
      It was disconnecting to know that Alexander had saw what others had not. And he himself had said he didn't want to be alone any more...perhaps. i stopped the thought short.
      First thing that i had to do was see how things were going to go with Alexander now.
      Then worry about what i was feeling for him later. It sounded like a good plan to me, until i turned and found Alexander leaning against the door frame, his arms folded across his chest, wearing a pair of low riding jeans, his feet were bare and i could detect a faint scent of sandalwoodcoming form him. His eyes were on me, but his face held an expression of such warmth that i nearly buckled under it.
      "Are you okay?" Alexander asked me, His eye were on my face, the look concerned.
      i nodded.
      "You don't look okay." he took me in his arms once again. "You're shaking."
      His arms were so warm and strong! Too warm.i tilted my head back. "Alexander, I—"
      His head lowered, their lips met and the kiss was Passionate, hot and demanding. Soulful and yearning. Sweet and tender. Without volition, i found my lips parting and responding with and eagerness that was filling me up. Our tongues tangled and i drank in the masculine taste of him. He was all i had ever dreamed a man could be. He challenged me, even as he protected, making me feel so very alive. As his body hardened next to mine.
      Was it lust or love i was feeling? honestly i didn't care. I wanted him and he wanted me. who was i to stop this from happening?
      But it appeared as though it wouldn't be me stopping us, it would be him. He broke the kiss. His hands were cupping my face, i could tell that my eyes had darken with desire, and that my cheeks were filled.
      "You were saying? " he asked, his tone light.
      My cheeks grew hotter as my embarrassment at been at his mercy grew.
      I wanted another kiss after that. " i just wanted to know where my underwear went?" His eyes darkened at that and his hands moved form my face, pulling me closer by the pants i was wearing. I could feel, his own desire evident in the boldness of his pants. And my throat went dry with Desire.
      I placed my hand on his chest and looked at him. Although i couldn't mask my desire i knew we had to slow down. " Alexander please stop..." My voice broken on nerves.
      He stopped his eyes on my face. "what is it? is something wrong?" His voice was husky.
      "How long will this last between us?"
      He smiles at me and kisses me lightly, his voice whispering against my lips. " Forever i hope"